Squirting…

Why is it the female orgasm perplexes many who try to understand it? The toe-curling, spine arching climax of a woman leaves boffins in white coats scratching their heads, trying to debunk many of the “myths” the fairer sex know to be truth.

Take the G-spot for example. Most who have been brave enough to go where no man has gone before will testify to its existence. pressing the magic button about three inches inside the vagina is said to induce an operatic style crescendo Pressing the magic button about three inches inside the vagina is said to induce an operatic style crescendo with convulsions and unintelligible gobbledygook thrown in for good measure.

While scientists are still in debate as to whether such a thing could possibly exist, legend is growing that with the right combination of strokes, a person can cause a female to ejaculate – or squirt as it is more commonly known.

The phenomenon that is squirting has captivated almost everyone who deems themselves purveyors of niche sexual activity. A quick Google search reveals 1,790,000 tutorials on how to make a woman squirt and Pornhub has over 3,000 videos dedicated to the female spray.

But is it just an urban legend, XXX movie fallacy or indeed something very real? Kelly, 33, says that it is. Around nine years ago, Kelly was initiated into the world of female ejaculation by a partner who was keen to make her gush.

“I felt weird, really weird like I didn’t have control over my body,” she says describing the first time.

“There’s a certain part inside you the guy has to squeeze to make it happen. It felt nice but different to a normal orgasm. I couldn’t feel it come out, but it literally looks like you are throwing water all over the place,” she claims before adding: “It goes everywhere.”

Apparently having your lady parts turn into a super soaker is more tiring than you would imagine. “I don’t think I would try to make it happen again. It weren’t that good and takes up a lot of energy. I felt feverish and a bit vulnerable. It was weird,” Kelly remembers.

It seems even Barbie is getting in on the act. While Mattel's figure head doll is gushes H2O, what do real squirters project out of themselves
It seems even Barbie is getting in on the act. While Mattel’s figure head doll is gushes H2O, what do real squirters project out of themselves

It’s a poorly kept secret that some porn stars simulate squirting with the aid of a bottle of water and some deft pelvic floor muscles. However, Researchers have been doing their best to prove that the fluid women cannon out of themselves is nothing more than urine.

The latest study not only analysed the biochemical makeup of the liquid, but also used ultrasound to note any changes in the body before and after climax. Not surprisingly, all seven female participants had one thing in common: an empty bladder after they had squirted.

Kelly has heard the findings, but disagrees with them. “I really don’t think it’s pee. Maybe the bladder does get filled with something but it’s not pee. It’s clear water and doesn’t smell. There were times my bladder was empty before it even happened.”

Eric, an erotic writer says that squirting is a new way of pushing sexual boundaries. “Sex has become more open, more extreme, more bold. In the ‘80s, going down on a woman made a guy the ultimate freak and lady pleaser. Nowadays oral sex – while still taboo – is standard so people are looking for the next big thing to be able to do.”

Describing it as “having a trick up your sleeve” Eric says: “I like the pleasure it gives a women. If she’s a newbie, she’s often shocked at the amount of pleasure it gives her.

“I love that it can be done spontaneously as part of and during oral sex, with the aid of toys or using fingers. On a personal level I just love standing back and knowing that I’ve pleasured a woman to that point – it’s empowering. It’s like ‘yep, I done hit that spot… bet she’s gonna tell her girls that I’m the man!’ It’s ego but not the ‘I fucked her and got my pleasure’ kind. More the ‘I pleasured her first, well and good kind.’”

g-spot
It seems you have to have the fingers of a magician to stimulate the G-spot enough to make a woman squirt

Not surprisingly, Eric thinks that squirting does have its place in erotic fiction, but says the reader’s response to it is dependent on how well its written or if the reader has had experience of squirting before. “It’s new and becoming more prevalent. If it isn’t already, it will become as normal as all the other usual sexual acts described within erotic stories. If the squirt scene is written well people can get an idea of how to do it, what to expect and how it will feel for both parties,” he says.

Andre and Louise, a couple in their late 20s say that squirting is made all the more spectacular because of the visuals. It would be a challenge for anyone not to become awe-stricken at the sight of vagina falls, but can projectile punani fluid truly be used to gauge the magnitude of a women’s orgasm?

“I think it’s more of a big deal for men than it is for women really. I assume they reckon the orgasm is bigger or better if she squirts,” Says Louise implying that is not necessarily the case.

“For me, it’s the look on her face when she cums, but squirting is not a must,” Andre says before laughing: “I don’t like the wet patch after either.”

Those who have been successful in calling down the monsoon either have a laissez-faire attitude towards it, or are wowed by their magic wand-like fingers. But it would seem, making a woman squirt has earned itself a spot on the bucket list of those with nimble fingers looking to be inducted into a sexual hall of fame.